BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER
as a girl who has been put into the position which is the subject of the article, i can definitely say the article is a good thoughtprovoking read. it touches on a lot of things that girls have to deal with when a guy "friend" tries to push that friendship into something else. I once had a very close friend tell me that he couldn't be friends with me anymore because he was tired of seeing what he couldn't have, as if i were a possession to be kept. I have also many times had guy friends blow up at me when I started dating someone because they assumed they were "next in line". this article deals with that subset of guys who friend girls in order to get a relationship out of the deal, the friendship is merely the pretext to get in the door.
Yeah, such weasels do exist and are annoying, agreed. It's variation #300 on "you know what I can't stand? other people's weaknesses!" though. I've seen enough women use single guys as grout between boyfriends to know there's two sides to that one.
I think that is true to a certain extent, but she is talking about one certain subset of guys that she takes care to distance from normal nice guys. and based on my experience of guys, and that of my girl friends, this type of guy really does exist and its irritating to have to deal with them. the nice guy who develops a crush on you that isnt returned is one thing, that kind of guy is smart enough to realize that you cant force someone to love you and backs off. the Nice Guy continues to pressure you and try and force a relationship and if you don't give in, turns on you and denounces the entire relationship, proving that it obviously was never about friendship in the first place, just a wily way into a girls pants. This isnt about other people's weaknesses, this is about abhorrant behavior and complete disrespect combined with an attempted preying on weaknesses in the girl party.

There certainly ARE girls who use guys as self-esteem fodder between relationships, but that doesnt discount that there are guys who try and prey on girls under the cover of being a "nice guy", in the guise of friendship and that kind of thing ruins shit not only for the unfortunate female target in having to put up with that bullshit, and for the rest of the truly nice guys out there. Saying "oh well there are girls that do that" is complete bullshit, while I shouldn't hold you to the sins of a past guy friend, neither should you hold me to the sins of someone who screwed you over. The difference between nice guys and the guys she is talking about, is that they assume that we girls owe them something simply because they are nice and that friendship is an investment solely to gain coveted relatonship status.
Yes. I totally buy that. There's a certain kind of person (almost always male) who only ever has friends of the opposite sex for purposes of sex, because he can't see women as anything but desired objects. The "friendship" is almost entirely fake. I've only encountered one woman who did that, but lots of men.

It's example #3520 of the annoying and annoyingly effective persistence of males seeking sex, I guess. The reason I mentioned the non-equivalent but mirroring behavior of some women is that both of these very bad behaviors have roots in the same bad idea: the person you sleep with isn't your friend and shouldn't be.

I think the reason I reacted poorly was mostly that it's about the tenth war-of-the-sexes rant I've seen this month, and when I hit that first line I thought "oh Christ another?".
i agree. for me its not a war of the sexes, i love guys, most of my friends are guys, and i think guys are awesome. but this one CERTAIN subset of guys i truly cannot stand, simply BECAUSE most of my friends are guys and i hate feeling played in friendship. if i invest friendship in a person its because i think they are awesome and have a lot of worth, and to have that turned on me because i am not romantically interested in them is srsly frustrating.
yeah. it's the lame.
That's why I agreed to stop stalking you. Well, and the restraining order thing.

I think I actually have more female friends than male. Never realized that before.
>I have also many times had guy friends blow up
>at me when I started dating someone because
>they assumed they were "next in line".

what a bunch of lameasses - don't they know that *i'm* next?. . . look, i've even still got my ticket - it says, "#37". . .
I'll see your mushroom and raise you an unidentifiable spongelike fungus:

awesome post, thanks, I think I'll "memories"-ize it

This is one of the most difficult subjects I've ever tried to work through with my male friends. Attempting to (gently) explain why females shy away from "Nice guys" is frustrating when you're talking to guys who truly are nice but border on being Nice because they THINK their history of rejection hinges somehow on the fact that they are nice.

And there's the fact that after dealing with said Nice Guys, some women become wary of friendship with men and therefore the whole barrel is ruined because of a few bad apples.