awwe, you look more like a boy now. I am going to bring you home and keep you in my pants.
I have had that hair and speak from experience when I say it's totally way awesome.
While I generally think you're a wonderful person, I have to disagree with the sentiments expressed by my fellow readers.

I find myself in internal turmoil about how best to do so, however.

I think "You PAID someone to do that?!" is currently coming out on top, followed closely by "Did you lose a bet?".

Ah well.