pacman inkee

message from heaven

message from heaven by hep
message from heaven, a photo by hep on Flickr.

because i haven't posted this pic in awhile, and for once i am not busy for THREE WHOLE DAYS and can do things like reply to lj comments in a timely fashion!

The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, most of us don't know very much about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

All answers will be screened if you want to ask anything super personal.

Having lost a sibling, how has that informed the kind of relationship you want your kids to have all as siblings as they grow older?
that is a super good question! i think it makes me subtly enforce them to be aware that the real world is out there trying to fuck you most of the time. or in other words to appreciate each other and everything as much as you can remember (no one is perfect right? hehe) we ALWAYS say i love you when we all say goodbye. we talk about my brother a lot, and they are aware of how much his death affected me. if he can't be a living memory in their life i want them to understand at least my memories of him, so they know how awesome he was even if they were not lucky enough to know him.

i hope they will all stay as close as they are right now. they bicker A LOT, but i firmly believe that bickering with siblings is an incredibly useful social practice move. you try out insults on your sister when you are cranky, OR just in the mood to fight, you know kids, so that you can perfect usage for the schoolyard later. but they are all SUPER tight not only when bad things are happening (like when zane was really sick in the hospital after her surgery last year) but also over 50% of the time they are hanging out together they are getting along, which is my good relationship/bad relationship metric. evan tutors zoe in math every night, zoe and zane constantly drill back and forth for quizzes and tests, they both practice volleyball together because zoe played for 3 years and zane is still playing now. evan and zane build advanced nerdery in minecraft together for 45mins per night. so not only do they tolerate each other, but they willingly hang with each other pretty much all the time. i hope they are always like that. i miss my brother because he died, and i miss my sister because she lives on the other side of country, so i hope that closeness is firmly in them, at least until they start to move out and possibly far away. and even past that with the internet!